Advise by criminal psychologist Dr. Thomas Müller (who collaborated, among others, with the FBI)
“I have a personal opinion on this,” says Dr. Müller, “Discipline! The basis of this is to – before the situation arises – train constantly in a disciplined way, every day. So you don’t even get into this kind of situation. Because if you flare up, become emotional, when you react angrily in a meeting or business talk, then it is often too late.”
This means you work out a strategy in advance. Where you anticipate events beforehand – consider what could happen and, thereby, think ahead. And it has to be clear to you: This is a job-related conflict and not a personal conflict!”
Here I have to keep telling myself, very clearly: “I’m not that important!” And that, in no way, indicates that I am unimportant as a person. You can’t get neurotic about this. This is not what I am talking about.
But, and this you need to train in a disciplined way, and keep repeating: “My importance is not as high, as it perhaps seems to me personally. And what is happening around me is basically, and not always, about me.”
I can start this training right away. Now, in this very instant. Keep telling yourself clearly:
- This is not about me.
- I need to keep myself out of it.
- I am not so important – in this matter here.
The result: You create a DISTANCE between the DECISION to react impulsively and the ACTUAL TRIGGER.
This Technique is useful for The Incensed Anger Rascal character.
Here you can see other techniques.
Here you can read my blog.
Read more about The Concept of The Emotional Hinderers by Judith Hornok here.