{"id":694,"date":"2019-09-28T21:54:07","date_gmt":"2019-09-28T19:54:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/?p=694"},"modified":"2021-11-09T16:55:20","modified_gmt":"2021-11-09T15:55:20","slug":"incensed-anger-rascal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/en\/incensed-anger-rascal\/","title":{"rendered":"The Incensed Anger Rascal"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Case Study of Incensed Anger Rascal: The Phone Call<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><i> Maria is a Viennese woman well-known in our fitness studio for her positive attitude. But today, I\u2019m facing a completely different Maria \u2013 angry, enraged, almost fuming. Her face is lit up bright red. She is holding a cell phone in her hand. I ask her if everything is okay? She puts the phone down and begins to talk:<\/i><\/p>\n<div class=\"su-spacer\" style=\"height:20px\"><\/div>\n<h2>The Situation<\/h2>\n<p>\u201c I\u2019m so mad at my boss. I just got off the phone with her, she\u2019s been abroad for two weeks and, due to the time difference, I\u2019ve been working for her around the clock. Yesterday I sent her an email, to inform her why and how I did two customer cancellations. It was a quiet matter. I described to my boss my diplomatic approach, to let her know that I did in it in a way so as not to upset these clients in the slightest. I put every effort into it. And just now my boss called me and said in a rude tone: \u201cDon\u2019t send me any more trivial emails in the middle of the night! It\u2019s not that hard to follow instructions!\u201d- that hurts! As somebody rammed a knife into my heart. Immediately after the phone call I felt my body heat up, my lips started to quiver. There\u2019s this voice inside me \u2013 it\u2019s screaming: \u201cHow can my boss be so mean? I do everything for her, for the company \u2013 I go the extra mile! Then I get this?!\u201d OK \u2013 let\u2019s go for it, I\u2019m going to call her back \u2013 NOW and\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n<div class=\"su-spacer\" style=\"height:20px\"><\/div>\n<h2>Identify the Emotional Hinderer<\/h2>\n<div class=\"one_fifth\">\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"520\" height=\"932\" src=\"https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/erzuerntes-wutteufelchen-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-703\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/erzuerntes-wutteufelchen-1.jpg 520w, https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/erzuerntes-wutteufelchen-1-167x300.jpg 167w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 520px) 100vw, 520px\" \/><\/p>\n<h5>\u00a9 \u201eIncensed Anger Rascal\u201c Judith Hornok<\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"four_fifth\">\n<p>Attention: The <em>Incensed Anger Rascal<\/em> has just run into Maria (the tennis shoes are an asset to arriving quicker on site \u2013 so be careful!) This incensed creature is screaming furiously: \u201cSuch a mean lady! Who does she think she is? How dare she talk to me like that? I worked all night, gave the company everything, and this is what I get? This is how I\u2019m rewarded for my efforts: \u2018don\u2019t email me in the middle of the night!\u2019 Where does she get the nerve? What kind of statement is that? Ok, that\u2019s it, I\u2019ll show her!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-spacer\" style=\"height:20px\"><\/div>\n<h2>Sharpen your awareness \u2013 apply a technique<\/h2>\n<div class=\"four_fifth\">\n<p>Before you write an angry email or maybe even reach for the phone and call this person, to give them a piece of your mind, to verbally strike back, take some advice from an expert, who knows the different profiles of the Incensed Anger Rascal:<\/p>\n<h3>Dr. Thomas M\u00fcller\u2019s Answer: Strict Discipline<\/h3>\n<p>The case analyst and globally recognized Austrian criminal psychologist Dr. Thomas M\u00fcller (who collaborated, among others, with the FBI) knows several \u201ccrime scenes\u201d where traces of \u201canger\u201d can be found.<\/p>\n<p>As a profiler, he doesn\u2019t just limit himself to generalizing forms of aggressive outbreaks: \u201cEach person expresses their anger differently,\u201d Dr. M\u00fcller explains, \u201cI can be emotional by becoming harsh, using violent language or, in the worst case, lashing out physically. I can also get very aggressive, by becoming aggressive towards myself and stop speaking. Then, silence becomes the most aggressive form of communication.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"one_fifth\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"593\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/koffer-neuneuneuneu.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-738\" \/><\/div>\n<div class=\"su-spacer\" style=\"height:20px\"><\/div>\n<p>Dr. Thomas M\u00fcller has <a href=\"https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/en\/strict-discipline\/\">an advice on how to behave to prevent aggressive verbal or physical outbreaks<\/a>.<br \/>\n<!--\n\n\n<h2>Does Dr. Thomas M\u00fcller have any advice on how to behave to prevent aggressive verbal or physical outbreaks?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n\u201cI have a personal opinion on this,\u201d says Dr. M\u00fcller, \u201cDiscipline! The basis of this is to \u2013 before the situation arises \u2013 train constantly in a disciplined way, every day. So you don\u2019t even get into this kind of situation. Because if you flare up, become emotional, when you react angrily in a meeting or business talk, then it is often too late.\u201d\n\nThis means you work out a strategy in advance. Where you anticipate events beforehand \u2013 consider what could happen and, thereby, think ahead. And it has to be clear to you: This is a job-related conflict and not a personal conflict!\u201d\n\nHere I have to keep telling myself, very clearly: \u201cI\u2019m not that important!\u201d And that, in no way, indicates that I am unimportant as a person. You can\u2019t get neurotic about this. This is not what I am talking about.\n\nBut, and this you need to train in a disciplined way, and keep repeating: \u201cMy importance is not as high, as it perhaps seems to me personally. And what is happening around me is basically, and not always, about me.\u201d\n\nI can start this training right away. Now, in this very instant. Keep telling yourself clearly:\n\n\n\n<ul>\n \t\n\n<li>This is not about me.<\/li>\n\n\n \t\n\n<li>I need to keep myself out of it.<\/li>\n\n\n \t\n\n<li>I am not so important - in this matter here.<\/li>\n\n\n<\/ul>\n\n\n[su_spacer size=\"20\"]\n\nThe result: You create a DISTANCE between the DECISION to react impulsively and the ACTUAL TRIGGER.\n--><\/p>\n<div class=\"su-spacer\" style=\"height:60px\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Case Study of Incensed Anger Rascal: The Phone Call Maria is a Viennese woman well-known in our fitness studio for her positive attitude. But today, I\u2019m facing a completely different Maria \u2013 angry, enraged, almost fuming. Her face is lit up bright red. She is holding a cell phone in her hand. I ask her [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":702,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-en"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Incensed Anger Rascal - Judith Hornok<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.judithhornok.com\/en\/incensed-anger-rascal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Incensed Anger Rascal - Judith Hornok\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Case Study of Incensed Anger Rascal: The Phone Call Maria is a Viennese woman well-known in our fitness studio for her positive attitude. 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